Comfortably Numb
by Laiqalasse
Summary: Contains TTT Movie Spoilers. Legolas' thoughts and actions on the cliff.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Comfortably Numb  
  
Author: Me, Laiqalasse  
  
Rating: PG-13 to be safe. Okay, make that an R. This came out WAY more intense than I had planned  
  
Category: Angst. Lots and lots of angst.  
  
A/N: Alright. This is my first songfic. There's a lot of me in this story so please be gentle with reviews. Thanks.  
  
Disclaimer: Leggy, Arrers and anyone else you recongnize belong to Tolkien. Comfortably Numb belongs to Pink Floyd  
  
Spoliers: This takes place during TTT movie. If you haven't seen it yet don't read this.  
  
  
  
~~Comfortably Numb~~  
  
**Hello  
  
Is there anybody in there  
  
Just nod if you can hear me  
  
Is there anyone at home  
  
Come on now  
  
I hear you're feeling down  
  
I can ease your pain  
  
Get you on your feet again  
  
Relax  
  
I'll need some information first  
  
Just the basic facts  
  
Can you show me where it hurts**  
  
I seemed to stand there forever. I *wanted* to stand there forever, gazing down at the river sweeping along below me. I wanted to believe that it was all a dream. Some horrible nightmare brought on by stress. Elves don't sleep but we dream and we sure as hell have nightmares. Men think their nightmares are bad. Imagine having three thousand years' worth of memories to be twisted and mutilated before your eyes as you try to rest. Surely this was just one of my many nightmares. Surely this shattered heart lying at my feet isn't real... isn't mine. The wind picks up and I momentarily lose my balance but I quickly recover and immediately wish I hadn't. It would be so easy.... So easy to let the wind push me over the cliff into the welcoming rush of water so far beneath. Would I drown or would I simply be battered and broken, washed so far downstream that no one would find me? I lean forward just a bit.... Then a bit further.... Just a little more and I rock up onto the balls of my feet, my weight thrown completely forward. My arms rise like wings and I close my eyes, feeling the wind in my hair, waiting for it to shift and give me that final push...  
  
**There is no pain you are receding  
  
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon  
  
You are only coming through in waves  
  
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying  
  
When I was a child I had a fever  
  
My hands felt just like two balloons  
  
Now I've got that feeling once again  
  
I can't explain, you would not understand  
  
This is not how I am  
  
I have become comfortably numb  
  
I have become comfortably numb**  
  
I lose my balance and for a moment I am free. Then I crash. Dully I realize that I am not wet but I don't really care. I open my eyes and see that someone has physically pulled me away from the cliff. I want to scream at them to let me go back but I cannot make my voice work. That same someone is leading me toward a large white horse and I am momentarily confused. This isn't my horse... my mare is smaller and lighter than this large gelding. Almost three thousand years' worth of habit wins out, however, and I swing up onto this beast without even realizing I'm doing it. Someone is hoisted up behind me but I don't give it a second thought... if I even gave it a first. The animal moves to join its companions without any signal from me. I am just along for the ride. I can see the people around me moving their lips but I hear no words, only the sound of the river rushing through my head. I feel as though I am moving through a painting as we pass across the countryside. I take in the hills and flowers and sky and clouds but they don't mean anything to me. It's as if I am in some surreal world completely detatched from my own. All I really see before me is water churning and bubbling, inviting me.  
  
** O.k.  
  
Just a little pin prick  
  
There'll be no more aaaaah!  
  
But you may feel a little sick  
  
Can you stand up  
  
I do believe it's working, good  
  
That'll keep you going through the show  
  
Come on it's time to go**  
  
The first thing I actually feel is a sharp pain in my right hand. I open my fist and see the Evenstar there. It is covered in blood and I idly wonder whose blood it is. I put the pendant in a pocket inside my jerkin and as I pull my hand away I see that it was my blood covering the jewel. The points on the pendant have pierced my skin and the blood now flows feely down across my hand and down my wrist. The pain spurs me into action and for the first time I take in my surroundings. I am sitting on a bed inside a small room. Outside the window it is nighttime and clouds blow across the moon. To my right is a small table with a basin of water and a few small cloths. I dip one cloth in the water and clean my hand and wrist then use another as a bandage. I feel exhausted and all I want to do is rest. I stand up from the bed and intend to make my way around the room, blowing out the candles so I can rest in total darkness. My body betrays me, however. I take no more than two steps before a wave nausea floods over me. I am almost not quick enough to make it back to the little basin of water before I throw up what feels like every meal I've ever eaten and then some. I drop onto my hands and knees, shaking, with tears flowing freely down my heat-flushed cheeks. I lay on the flagstone floor for a few minutes, letting the coldness of the stone cool my face. Finally I am able to crawl up onto the bed where I don't even bother to take off my boots before pulling the thick blanket over me. The last conscious thought I have before I slip into peaceful oblivion is how did I get here?  
  
**There is no pain you are receding  
  
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon  
  
You are only coming through in waves  
  
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying  
  
When I was a child  
  
I caught a fleeting glimpse  
  
Out of the corner of my eye  
  
I turned to look but it was gone  
  
I cannot put my finger on it now  
  
The child is grown  
  
The dream is gone  
  
And I have become  
  
Comfortably numb**  
  
I am sitting in my favorite tree in my forest, watching a family of foxes play around the trunk. They scatter when they see you. You smile up at me through the green leaves then you climb up to join me. We sit in silence for a moment before I try to ask you if this is a dream but you will not let me speak. Every time I open my mouth you put a finger to your lips, the universal sign for silence. This dream surely does not make sense. I wish to tell you goodbye, to tell you that I loved you, to tell you that you would have been the greatest King since the days of Numenor. But you will not let me. Finally you speak to me, telling me that it will be okay, I will see you again. I wonder how it can possibly be true. How will I see you again? Men do not go Mandos' Halls when they die. Men never see Valinor and Elves never go where Men do. I turn to ask you but you are gone. Again. I cry out your name but there is no answer. Suddenly I am awake and the sun is streaming in through the little window in this little room. The sun which normally begs me to come out and play. Today I ignore her and I do not move until she goes down and the moon comes up. Then I rise and wander the corridors of Helm's Deep like a shadow until morning. When the sun makes her appearance there is something different in the air. Something big will happen today and for the first time in days I find that I actually care. I still do not smile but with a somewhat lighter spirit I go to find my Dwarven friend to thank him for pulling me back from the edge. 


	2. Thanks!

Hey all. First I want to give Skittles of gratitude to all my reviewers. The reviews meant much to me as this is the first fic I've actually posted anywhere.  
  
Second I want to say that there will be another chapter but it may be a while in coming as I have to find just the right song first. "Comfortably Numb" just kinda smacked me in the face and said "WRITE ABOUT ME!" I have to wait for another song to do that again. I'm working on it, though, so please have patience.  
  
Thanks again for all your wonderful feedback and for begging me to continue. (((hugs)))  
  
~~Laiqalasse~~ 


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